When It Comes To Love {Part One}

Have you heard about this? Three single ladies in the Northwest have vowed that 2012 is their year to get married. The only thing is that none of them are in relationships right now. So they are praying hard, trusting God to do this crazy-bold thing, and doing everything in their power to invite love into their lives.

I’m not sure what I think about the whole experiment. Love is a wonderful thing but I don’t know if I think it’s something you can plan for. You can prepare for relationships but you can’t force them into happening. And even then, not all relationships end up at the altar.

On the other hand, I applaud the women for being intentional. I appreciate that they aren’t asking men out. Instead, they are inviting men to pursue. They are being welcoming instead of putting up walls. That’s cool. How men will respond is an entirely different matter.

Like most people who read about this quest, I have tons of questions. Unlike others, I’m in luck. A friend of mine is friends with two of the members of the experiment. After being sworn to secrecy, they agreed to let me interview them.  So come back on Friday for part one of my interview with the ladies of When It Comes To Love.

Until then…what do you think about the whole thing? I want to hear from males and females on this one!

18 Responses to “When It Comes To Love {Part One}”
  1. boomrethink says:

    Their efforts are better than the normal alternatives (bars, hookups, etc). Applause for these ladies!

  2. Michael says:

    Without thinking about it too much, I would be hesitant to have such a goal. After all marriage is a huge decision and commitment, so it might not be the best thing to set a deadline for it. I could see setting a goal of being in a serious relationship by 2012, but I would shy away from even doing that.

    I have seen many people who set deadlines for things like this: I will be married by 25, I won’t marry/have kids until 30, etc. By doing something like that, I think you can easily miss God’s best for you. If you have a deadline for when you want to be in a relationship or be married, it could be easy to settle for less than your ideal just to fulfill your number, whereas if you had waited a little longer, the perfect person or situation would have come.

    So, I’m not going to slam them for doing this, as you said, they are merely letting the world know that they are available and looking for a serious relationship, but I would not do it personally. Also, I’m fairly sure they have some standards/requirements that I am unaware of at the moment, so if you ask me what I think of it after reading your interviews, I may have a different opinion.

    • caitlinmuir says:

      Ah! But are you putting marriage on your old/boring/30 list? 😉 I think some of your concerns will be answered Friday. I know mine were!

  3. I’m not sure that I agree with this… I’m not totally against it, but I personally, want to trust God and His perfect timing instead of trying to put a year on it. Also, I wouldn’t want to rush into a relationship. I just plan on trusting God and waiting for Him to bring the right man into my life… at the right time.

    • caitlinmuir says:

      I’m excited for three women. I don’t know if I could do it but if it’s where God is leading them….awesome!

      I asked them a lot of questions and I think you’ll be relieved by their answers. They have hearts of gold!

  4. Todd says:

    Moral commentary/judgement aside, while I think the documentation is novel, I question weather it is a realistic channel for developing qualified lead flow for their actual pursuit. What guy, once aware, would want to be apart of a relationship where everything that’s going on is not only being blogged about, but also being scrutinized as part of the larger media campaign their site represents. It’s a clear deterrent IMHO. I think they would have be better off nixing the blog as it really doesn’t seem to be a valid form of inbound marketing due to the whole anonymity factor. I mean if they had a lead capture form that would be one thing, but then again what kind of self-respecting guy is going to submit his application to a trio of mystery women?

    It seems to me if they are serious about meeting their Q4 goals they should focus on lead volume and lead qualification. I know that doesn’t sound fun or romantic, but at the point that you are trying to engineer a marriage you should be realistic about what you are doing and embrace the more mechanistic aspects of the process. I don’t know if any of them have ever participated in an MLM or direct sales of any kind (e.g. cutco) but that would be a great format for getting the kind of pipeline mentality required to pull this sort of thing off.

    I’d like to hear more about what channels they have pursued and what the results have been for each.

    • caitlinmuir says:

      Todd, can I just call you Mr. Marketing? Because you remind me of all the things I hear in marketing meetings. Which is a good thing. Really. 🙂

      I think the blog is to chronicle the journey, not generate leads.

      Out of curiousity, how would you turn this into MLM? Would you institute finders fees? :p

  5. Samuel says:

    I do not think it is wise to put something like marriage on this kind of time track. While we all “settle” eventually, I’d be concerned that adherence to this arbitrary goal could set them up for a troubled marriage to someone they aren’t really a good match for.

    On the other hand, I applaud them for their approach. It is refreshing to see young women working to be open to a relationship. I love that they are inviting guys to pursue them. My experience has been of two extremes. There are plenty of great gals who for whatever reason are deliberately driving great guys away (I suspect it is a misguided attempt to remain emotionally pure, or to make the guy pursue them). And there also plenty of gals who are pushy and end up chasing after a guy. Which makes a guy plenty uncomfortable.

    To answer a couple points from Todd: First, there are guys who wouldn’t, I think, be opposed to having the relationship blogged about (especially when it is anonymous). Some of us don’t mind living life in the open as much. Secondly, I love that they are doing this on the blog. It is a fascinating human interest story, and it is such a great platform to show the world God-honoring relationships and men and women embracing their roles. I love it.

    I’m looking forward to the interview Friday.

    • caitlinmuir says:

      I like that there are so many guys offering their views on here. I wonder if there are any guy bloggers who blog about their quest for a wife….and how the public’s reaction to them would be. Interesting thought, no?

      I do have a question about “settling.” You put it in quotes. Did you mean settling down? Because settling in a relationship would imply that you aren’t getting the best or you’ve had to compromise. I don’t think anyone wants to settle. At least, I hope not!

      • Samuel says:

        I think my thought is that we all do compromise in marriage. I am not going to find a perfect woman out there, you will not find the perfect man, and that is alright. So we settle for someone who is as flawed as we are, believing that God can take two imperfect people and mold a great marriage out of it. So we do settle.

        However, I’ve seen several acquaintances who are so set on getting married that they compromise much more severely. They ignore the feedback of Christian community, wed a non-Christian, or marry a girl who is quite clearly not a woman yet, or they marry when they (the guy) is not a man, not ready for marriage. And this ends in lifelong marriage trouble, or divorce, or in one case, murder. Now, that is extreme, and these three women seem to be pretty set on following God’s leading. They should be fine. God is pretty good at His job!

  6. Jocelyn says:

    I think the key to their endeavors is that they feel God is leading them to step out in faith like this. Having read their blog and followed the first little bit of their story, they aren’t just doing this on a whim. Does that mean I agree or could do it or am not a little skeptical?? Not at all. I am very skeptical and I could not do this….at least when looking at it without taking into account that God is leading them.

    Does that mean they will be married in 2012? Well, maybe. It could also mean that God is just asking them to embark on a journey of faith and that he has some big things he wants to teach them, good things, and in the end that may be what this is about, far more than getting married by a certain date.

    • caitlinmuir says:

      //It could also mean that God is just asking them to embark on a journey of faith and that he has some big things he wants to teach them, good things, and in the end that may be what this is about, far more than getting married by a certain date.//

      Quoted for truth + wisdom. Great thoughts. Nothing done in faith+obedience is wasted. Even if it doesn’t turn out the way that we expect or hope it to. God’s plans are always so much bigger, brighter, and bolder than our own.

  7. Just based on what you are saying, here is a comment and question I have.

    1) I delight in people believing and praying for the miraculous. I believe this is scriptural.

    2) Which do they want more? God or a husband? If this request isn’t answered like they are praying it will, what does this do to their view of God?

    Beth Moore talks about how God delights in us asking. He asks us to ask and to abide in Him. I believe he works something supernatural in the midst of asking even if it doesn’t look like what we wanted. We are called to pray and to bring our desires before him. From what you say, they seem to be doing this.

    It’s not giving God a way out, but it’s trusting His ways.

    There is something to be said about fasting and praying “in secret” but I also think there is a time and a place for leading by example. Not sure what I feel in this case, but overall I pray more people would be as bold in their prayers and belief as these women seem to be.

    Your comment is awaiting moderation.

  8. christina says:

    I think this is hilarious. To me, its just generating leads ( as you said)… And I hope at least one of them finds their match 🙂

  9. definitely interesting. 🙂

Check out what others are saying...
  1. […] one of the girls to get to the bottom of her true intentions. She wrote about it in two parts here and here. There’s a really good discussion going on. You should jump […]

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