Oops!

I hate making mistakes.

It’s too bad because I make them often. They aren’t the calculated, willful ones – choosing to drive drunk, street racing in the wee hours of the morning, swindling people, or cutting in line at the grocery store. My mistakes tend to come from sloppiness. The sloppiness that comes from exhaustion and victory.

So often, my dumbest mistakes march right behind a victory.  Before I can stop and celebrate a success, they come up and kick me behind the knees. Back to where I belong anyway. Does this happen to you, too?

The one awesome thing about being on your knees is that all you can do is look up to God for guidance. Forgiveness. Healing. It’s astonishing how full of grace God is to those who ask for it. He forgives even when it seems like He shouldn’t. That doesn’t mean you won’t harbor a few scars from your mistakes, but the gaping wounds will be healed.

I’m constantly in awe of the fact that my mistakes are covered by the blood of Christ. My attempts at perfection that miss the mark because I’m a flawed person. The strangled stabs of self-redemption come up short. But in Christ, I’m forgiven. I always think of Psalms 103:6 -18

God makes everything come out right;
he puts victims back on their feet.
He showed Moses how he went about his work,
opened up his plans to all Israel.
God is sheer mercy and grace;
not easily angered, he’s rich in love.
He doesn’t endlessly nag and scold,
nor hold grudges forever.
He doesn’t treat us as our sins deserve,
nor pay us back in full for our wrongs.
As high as heaven is over the earth,
so strong is his love to those who fear him.
And as far as sunrise is from sunset,
he has separated us from our sins.
As parents feel for their children,
God feels for those who fear him.
He knows us inside and out,
keeps in mind that we’re made of mud.
Men and women don’t live very long;
like wildflowers they spring up and blossom,
But a storm snuffs them out just as quickly,
leaving nothing to show they were here.
God’s love, though, is ever and always,
eternally present to all who fear him,
Making everything right for them and their children
as they follow his Covenant ways
and remember to do whatever he said.

Isn’t that beautiful? That gives me the grace to give myself grace. Because honestly, sometimes I’m harder on myself than God is. That sounds horrible to say, but it’s the truth of it. While God offers forgiveness, I condemn myself. When He offers lavish love, I tell myself I’m not worthy. But His promises are sure and in them, I can find the grace to get back up, take His hand, and keep on going.

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Comments
2 Responses to “Oops!”
  1. Courtney says:

    Caitlin, this is beautiful and a great reminder to all of us stupid humans who do stupid things. We have a perfect God!

    • caitlinmuir says:

      I wouldn’t call us “stupid.” More like broken people desperately in need of grace. The nice thing about making mistakes is that it opens your eyes up to the way God moves. 🙂

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