I’ll be honest

There’s no way that I am going to write a novel this month. No way that I can finish the bare-boned beginnings of the one I started on the first of November.

Personally, I’m disappointed in myself. I’ve taken some measure of pride in writing a book every year in a world that relies less and less on the written word. This year, I feel like I’ve joined the ranks of the lazy consumers.

Maybe I can redeem myself and write a children’s book. My niece asked for one. It shouldn’t be too hard to write a book that an eight year old would like to read. Something that starts with “Once Upon A Time” and ends with “They Lived Happily Ever After.” Even though they probably don’t live happily ever after. They probably fight and have problems that need to be resolved. They might need to see a counselor. Because they are human and humas are flawed. They don’t live in a fantasy Disney world with beautiful hair and nails all the time. And that’s okay.

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My roommate is gone for the holiday. Our little guesthouse is silent. There’s a gentle glow from the clear Christmas lights that I set up ealier. Our little fake Christmas tree is standing just under the air conditioner, which is on. It’s very much a strange feeling to be in a house by yourself around the holidays. I’m not overwhelmed with sadness but it’s so very different than my growing up years. I’m not surrounded by siblings and cousins. I’m surrounded by…humidity.

One of my siblings suggested I write out all that I was grateful for this year. So here’s the list. Feel free to skip it if you’d like. Or if you have pumpkin pie you ought to be eating instead.

writing buddies. texas buddies. portland buddies. gelato. streetside thai food. creperies. auto mechanics. my sweet car. a God that sustains me. parents that support me. friends that pray for me. coworkers who laugh with me. friends from high school. friends from back when i was 8. music that fills the heart and the ears. goodbye cards. care packages. refuge. sweet nieces who giggle. nephews that pretend not to like you but then confide that you are their favorite aunt afterall. imported stumptown coffee. Jesus lovers. people who talk about hard issues. new abolishionists. social justice junkies. the heartbroken who let their shards become a mosaic. sportscars. business trips. meeting people from online in real life. kind editors. solid rock podcasts. airplanes. the kindness of strangers. old faces. new places. watching what not to wear with my nana. taking my grammy to the movies. dancing with my grampy at my cousin’s wedding. family. keeping traditions. crossing things off your lifelist. ice cream. swimsuits. watching dolphins play. taking chances. the Wisdom of God. netflix. live concerts. free live concerts. lawnmower races. exploring new cultures. a renewed sense of awe. knowing that it will all be okay even when it seems like nothing is. being from Oregon and having a stellar football team (Go Ducks!). photographers. video editors. roommates. awesome landlords. fortune cookies. plane tickets.

I think that should do for now. Keep an attitude of gratitude year round.

3 Responses to “I’ll be honest”
  1. MissEmy says:

    happy Thanksgiving Caitlin! 😀

    I can sorta relate to the being alone on the holidays thing…. there’s something about family that ya just can’t beat this lovely season! I spent dinner not understanding a thing being said around the table. And that was after making the whole thanksgiving meal! 😛 Gotta brush up on my danish I guess…..

  2. caitlinmuir says:

    Hello Emily! Brushing up on your Danish might help. 😉 How much longer are you on your grand European tour?

  3. one can argue that it can go both ways

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