Lost in a Funk

It’s rare that I get caught up in the grays. You know, the dreary soul days that make everything seem like it’s gone through the wash just a few too many times with the darks. All of a sudden your pristine white shirt is the same shade of cement. I’m having one of those days. Usually, I’m on one end or the other of the emotional spectrum – never just caught in the doldrums. But today is different. Today, I feel…bland.

My trip back home has happened. I’ve actually been back twice in the last month. Wedding week, my sister’s wedding week, was insane but a happy sort of insanity full of fun times with the bride&groom. The wedding party kept up the PARTY part. It was fabulous to see so many awesome people. I came back to Texas after much too short of a time.

Two weeks later, I was back in Portland. This time to surprise some people for another wedding. That was last weekend and it too was fabulous. I got to catch up with the last batch of newlyweds and spend time with some awesome people.

But now I feel like I have two lives. Two lives in which I fully do and don’t belong. I don’t really have a home right now. There is no community in which I identify myself. I just fly like a free bird, roaming here and there, but with no place to rest. My riding instructor is encouraging me to get into the world of horse competitions and to get a horse – but I’m never around long enough. I just come and go. It’s weird.

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Comments
2 Responses to “Lost in a Funk”
  1. I’ve totally been there – especially in college when the family and boyfriend were in one place, and my college life was in another.

    Hang in there!

  2. stacy says:

    makes me want to drink alchoholic beverages

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