Sushi for….you.

I’m a fake.

People tell me that I am a sushi type of a woman. I’m not entirely sure what that means but the fact that so many different people tell me this makes me think that there is stereotype hovering.  When I go out with friends that I have not seen in awhile and the topic of dinner comes up, invariably someone always says, “Let’s go to sushi!”

“Sushi?” I question.

“Sushi! You love sushi, don’t you?”

I hate disappointing people so I smile and nod. “Love it.”

That is not really a lie. I’ve a soft spot in my heart for it. And it sets you apart from the rest of the potluck crowd when you bring it to events.

The other person grins back, their smile easily outstripping mine and says, “I knew it! You just seem like a sushi sort of a girl. What’s your favorite kind of roll?”

This is the part that trips me up. In most conversations, one person shares an intelligent comment or statement and waits for the other participant to share something as equally intelligent. I pause. It is not for dramatic reasons but simply because my mind draws a blank. So I make something up. True story. I talk about how I adore salmon on my sushi – smoked salmon to be exact. I’m not sure if I actually have actually eaten smoked salmon in sushi or just dreamed about it. But somewhere in my mind is an image of a nori roll with a healthy slab of smoked salmon sticking out of the middle.

Somewhere around 3 a.m., my sister and I were talking about what how easy it is to try to be something that you aren’t. Like sushi. I like sushi. I’m just not the aficionado that people assume me to be. I like the Saturday Market but sometimes I go not because I adore it but because it is the young, urban, and hip thing to do.  When I look back at the last few years, there are many things that I did not because I enjoyed them but because my friends thought they were cool or they were the “artsy” thing to do. How dumb.

There is freedom in being genuine. If I don’t enjoy something or if it doesn’t fit quite right, I squirm like a child waiting for the last ten minutes of school to pass before summer vacation. An eternity seems to pass before those ten minutes do. Every ten thousand years I tap my cell phone so I can see the time and I let down when I see that only one minute has passed. I hate that feeling. When I am being genuine and not trying to impress people, I let my guard down. I laugh easier and louder. Words tumble out in paragraphs intermingled with exclamation marks.

It doesn’t make sense, this trying to impress people with your boredom. Being a B grade actress is without charm.  I bet everyone has a list of things that people assume they like more than they do. The subtle fakes. What’s yours?

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Comments
2 Responses to “Sushi for….you.”
  1. BK says:

    What, no other comments??? I thought there would be ooodles of them! Love your writing style. Something that I tend to do is get into hobbies because someone else is doing it or I expressed some interest in it and now someone thinks I’m “like totally into it” and so I do get “like totally into it”. But sushi is not on that list 🙂 I’m trying to get over that peer pressure and just be who I am and who I want to be. Just be funky ole me 🙂

    • caitlinmuir says:

      Thanks for stopping by!
      How’d you get interested in photography? Lot’s of people are “like totally into it.” 😉 I try to be…but I get bored.

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